So this new leaf...

I had been doing well with this new leaf thing even with school being so crazy towards the end. Until today.  A friend said something that made me angry I mean very angry.  But I didn't say anything instead I wrote it down here. As I have mentioned before they have become vegan and some thing's that were said and done during that time pissed me off and I thought I had gotten over most of it...until today. A friend of both of ours (my friend and I ) who is also vegan told her that eating meat/fish once a year for Christmas isn't a deal breaker so eat your traditional stuff and don't worry about it.  So my friend was talking with her husband about this and I was listening but not participating in the conversation. (they were having the conversation in front of me in the kitchen) and he says I feel crab is a gateway meat.  Now I kinda chuckled at this cause its kinda funny.  The husband said he wasn't sure he wanted to eat meat again, she says meat is gross. While I'm standing right there knowing full well I eat meat.  Now when this vegan thing started and I was getting angry about all of this so I stopped talking to her about food or food related items because I don't want to be angry with my friend. Now she has done "research" on cows and chickens and when I say research I mean watch a couple of documentaries on netflix.  So you watch a couple of videos about chickens and cows and now they're gross?! I don't criticize your food why would you do that to me? The biggest thing that gets me is she is teaching this intolerance to her children.  The daughter has written on homework she doesn't like meat its gross and unhealthy.  So this kid is going to go to school and judge others who are eating meat, she is going to tell them they are eating unhealthy and this worries me a lot.

One of the biggest biggest things for me is not making fun of people for being who they are.  Nothing makes me more angry and I feel this is a part of that.  I was teased/picked on as a kid for not eating the way "normal" people do, for going to church on Saturday, and a whole host of other things. Now I almost feel I'm being ostracized for being "normal"   I hate intolerance hate it.  So I try to be tolerate of other people and their ways its not for me to tell them how to live their lives.  I can only live my life the way I think it should be run. 

A new leaf?

So I don't know what to call this new plan of mine, I don't know if its a a new leaf or just a simple resolution.     I'm going to start seeing a counselor next week and true to form I have a list started of things I want to talk about lol.  The lady making the appointment asked me what I want to be seen for...I was like umm and I started  to say about a million things and after fumbling a few words I just said stress, we'll call it stress.  SHe chuckled and I chuckled it was a very nice exchange.

I called myself type A other day and realized I didn't know excatly what it meant so I looked it up...here is what about.com had to say.

Traits of Type A Behavior
Key Characteristics:
While the term “Type A” is thrown around often, it’s not always fully known what specific characteristics make up “Type A” personality, even among experts. For example, some people, the term applies to rude and impatient people. Others see workaholics as “Type A”. Many see competitiveness as the main characteristic. According to research, the following characteristics are the hallmark characteristics of Type A Behavior (TAB):

• Time Urgency and Impatience, as demonstrated by people who, among other things, get frustrated while waiting in line, interrupt others often, walk or talk at a rapid pace, and are always painfully aware of the time and how little of it they have to spare.
• Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness, which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse’, for example.

Additionally, Type A behavior often includes:

• Competitiveness
• Strong Achievement-Orientation
• Certain Physical Characteristics That Result From Stress and Type A Behavior Over Years

Physical Characteristics:
The following physical characteristics often accompany TAB:

• Facial Tension (Tight Lips, Clenched Jaw, Etc.)
• Tongue Clicking or Teeth Grinding
• Dark Circles Under Eyes
• Facial Sweating (On Forehead or Upper Lip)

After read this and several others that said similar things yep this is me to a flipping T.  Although I don't have facial sweating (thank the Lord on that one!)

The funny part to this is What I get in my head every time I hear Type A. At least its a good song? :)

But the new leafish part pertains to a previous post.  I think until my crazy is contained, when I'm at home I will attempt to stay out of everyone's way and in my bedroom so I do not disturb others in what they are doing, when cooking I will wait until the others are done and then proceed to wash all my dishes so no one else has to deal with this.  I already attempt to keep my clutter to a minimum but will do so more earnestly.  I will attempt to be the most invisible person in the house to keep and everyone sane. This maybe a little extreme but I feel its necessary for the moment, at least until I get my crazy straightened out.  Side note: Can you straighten crazy? lol

Sherlock Holmes

I have been watching the new Sherlock Holmes lately comments on that aside I've always felt a strange connection to that character. Finally someone else who's brain works as fast as mine who connects dots others don't see. Someone who talks as fast as I do who's thoughts are coming out of his mouth slower than he can think of them. Yet there are certain things that calm him not unlike myself. Music helps him it helps me having someone to bounce these seriously random but connecting thoughts off helps. Now I don't do the pipe or drink embalming fluid but I see why he did these things and I understand. I'm not sure I should identify with a fictional character but I do :)

I am crazy :)

2 posts in one month! Now I know I'm crazy. :)

I created this blog to write down my thoughts.  Things that are on my mind at any given point.  Sometimes the post might be reflective, occasionally informative, I might even toss in light-hearted one, but every once in a while I just need to get something off my chest.  My words are never meant to hurt anyone.

 One of the sayings I have adopted lately is "words matter".  I try to adhere to that statement more often than not, carefully choosing the words I write.  Sometimes I fail. My last post I wrote in anger and I discarded one of my own rules. I will try not to do that again.

I might be going crazy...

I know I haven't posted in awhile.  I could site school, classes and other such things as to why I haven't posted.  But the truth is after reading some of my previous posts they sounds whinny and I told myself I was going to write an upbeat post next time, no more of this depressing stuff.

I'm sorry to say this is not going to be an upbeat post...I'm angry quite frankly so I'm taking a small break from my paper writing to write this down or I won't get anything finished.

I have a friend lets call her Sally.  Sally has a husband and 2 kids, and I  love her family.  They have been great friends.  I consider her to be one of my best friends, she recently made a life style change to vegan/vegetarianism.  I applaud this, changing the way you eat isn't an easy thing to do.  I am thrilled she want to make her life and the life of her family healthier.  Yes you guessed it there is a but coming....

First though a little back story.  Sally is the friends we currently live with.  We cook together, and have tons of fun doing it.  We share recipes and ideas.  So when my husband and I got back from visiting my parents for 3 days and are told "oh by the way we're vegetarian now" I was rather shocked.  I was a little surprised and hurt she didn't ask me my thoughts on being vegetarian, see I had been mostly vegetarian for 14 years, up until the age of 22.  So when my friend didn't  ask me what I thought it hurt.   The other thing that bugged me and still does is that she doesn't seem to see that her changing her life doesn't just effect her and her family it affects my husband and I as well.  I cook meals on the weekend,was I going to continue this? Would we eat what she cooked during the week? That weekend I attempted to show my support by cooking some of my vegetarian meals.  I was angry (still am obviously) and it might have come through a little when I pretty much yelled at them to just flipping eat it and trust me that it was good. I used to make breakfast every weekend and it varied.  Everyone in the house loved my pancake/waffle recipe and I thought I'll make those no problem.  I said on a Friday night hey I'll make pancakes in the morning but I'll use whole wheat flour so it makes them healthier.  I was then informed they're going vegan as well...to be healthier and my pancakes didn't qualify as healthy.  So the recipe my Dad and I developed wasn't healthy; the flour, eggs milk, baking soda, and baking powder are unhealthy.  I was insulted and it still makes me very angry to think about it. So at that point I thought, awesome...now I can't cook/bake anything they will eat.

I was upset about this for weeks. I mean I cried many many times about it and I know they noticed something was wrong with me.  Now I do have my own issues with vegetarianism/veganism, I wasn't healthy when I ate that diet.  My muscles were weak and I was anemic, and gained so much weight it was crazy. So there was some of that in there. The main thing that bugged me was this is another change I have to adapt to.  I have already adapted to going to school again, losing my house and my car and uprooting our life, then I adapted to living with friends and not making enough money for the first time in my life to support myself, and now I have to change the way I cook and eat, and the people I consider my closest friends don't think this is going to affect my life?! It was the last straw I cried almost every day.

Now its been over a month and they're sticking to the diet and we've kinda figured out food/meals.  But now its everything is vegan.  She made pizza crust over the weekend and I heard it was vegan like 10 times.  I know its new and I'm trying to be patient but can't you just say I made pizza crust? We know you're vegan by now we get it.Why must it be vegan pizza crust?! or vegan thai chili.  The pizza crust and chili were very good but if I had heard they were vegan one more time I swear I was going to scream.  9/10 of her posts on facebook have been about eating vegan or using organic food.   What I don't think she realizes is that by saying what she does it comes off as her calling everyone else unhealthy and its insulting.  I know she doesn't mean to be and she is just saying what they're doing and what she believes   One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don't think their words/actions effect other people.

Its been a month my am I writing all this now? Because now I can write it and not be completely angry until something sets me off. :)

Thinking...

I've been thinking about a post, but I look at the previous ones and think about the content I want to include this time and I'm afraid it will come off as complainy. So I don't know do I post what's been on my mind or do I post something that a little less whinny? lol

Vacation and Coupons :)

I know I haven’t made a post in a while but in my defense we did go on vacation.  We spent a week at my parents and it was awesome.  I spent the majority of the time in the pool swimming or as I like to call it “water dancing to the radio”.  It was so warm at night I even had a night swim! It was so much fun!  It’s amazing how at the age of 32 I can still get homesick.  This doesn’t normally happen when I visit my parents but this time it did.  I think the main reason this happened this time is because I don’t have my own house.  Most people when they come home get that feeling of “oh I’m so glad to be home” I haven’t had that feeling for a bit. Plus when you go on vacation your life gets put on hold and it’s a usually a fun time then to come home to your life and responsibility’s is a downer lol.  Alright enough about that!

 So I've recently started couponing.  I have a binder and everything!

 For some reason I can't get the blog to rotate the pic's the right way...but hopefully you get the point.

I've organized it by tabs and kinda how my Wal-Mart is set up.  I haven’t gotten the super savings you see on tv but on average with the coupons I do save about $15.  I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and my total before coupons was 201 something after coupons it was 188 something (both include tax :P) so that time it was a savings of about $13.  I’ve had a couple people ask me why I bother for such a low amount of savings.  My answer…that’s money I can spend elsewhere, that I don’t have to spend on groceries plus I’m not working right now (as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before) and any saving anywhere is a GREAT thing.  I shop mostly at Wal-Mart and Target.  With Target you can use their coupons and manufactures coupons together, which I find totally awesome.  I still have to do that this week…so that will add to my savings.  It’s been an interesting endeavor and I hope I can keep up with it when school starts.  

Keep moving forward

I want to preface this post by saying I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just putting my thoughts down on paper so to speak.  Maybe what I have to say will help someone or maybe it will help you understand me a little or maybe it will be just a good read. 

I got asked last night what has been bothering me as I’ve been a little snippy.  I said it was the same ol’ stuff, as I got to thinking about it later that night more occurred to me.  When I say ‘more’ I mean details of the main point. The main point has been the same for a while now, ever since our lives got turned upside down in 2009 so the same ol’stuff has been the same for almost 3 years.  Short version…we lost our jobs, house, car, and life we had built together for 6 years all in 6 months.  I’m not going to lie it was rough and sometimes still is. Many of you may not know this but when we lost our jobs we were attempting to start a family.  I was even taking fertility drugs.  Now here it is over 3 years later and sometimes I feel we are farther from that goal than ever.  I stopped reading posts by my friends on facebook about their pregnancies and their babies.  I felt bad doing this and not keeping up with my friends lives.  While I was happy for them, all it did was serve as a painful reminder of what we had lost.  I had a close friend who had a baby shortly before we moved.  As luck would have it we were moving closer.  I enjoyed spending time with that little boy and was even lucky enough to babysit.  For some reason he didn’t remind me of what we had lost we just had fun.  I don’t know if it’s because I have known his parents since I was 13 or what the reason was but being with him didn’t make me feel sad.  Now I no longer watch him but it made me realize that I could look at babies and not see all the loss and that was a good thing.  Now I still look at the infant section longingly.  I still cry every time  a visit with a baby is over but at least I’m not bitter anymore. 

 Currently we’re living with friends; while my husband is working I’m not. The school I expected to take 3 years will take 4. I may be complaining a little, but I’m also attempting to state the current situation.  While our friends who offered to house us (we do pay rent but not much) have been so awesome there are drawbacks.  I am a large control freak and I know this.  There are times I want to organize and run the house, but have to tell myself it’s not mine to run.  Honestly, that has been harder than I expected.

If you ever get a chance to see or have already seen Meet the Robinsons please do it’s a great movie. One of the main themes in the moving is to “Keep moving forward”.  It’s a good line and one we try to stick to but there are occasions when I feel we are not moving forward anymore.  We seem to be stuck in this loop that doesn’t have an end.  (thus is the nature of loops.)  The moving forward we do seems to get canceled out by things moving back or staying the same...so loop. So how do I/we get out of this loop? Well for starters I am attempting to look for a job.  I have applied to many places without much luck.  So I suppose I keep doing it, I   keep moving forward… 

Pictures!

Bullseye

Jasmine

They wouldn't cooperate to get one together. It was like herding cats! (haha I'm funny)

A delicious apple pie

One of my favorite pictures I've taken. (this one is un-photoshoped)

About me

This post is likely to change as we all change over time.  So a few facts about me…

• I love fairies, although True Blood has been destroying all my illusions of them in this season. 
• I am in college again for the third and final time.  This fall is the start of my final year. Yay!!  I have a lot to say about this experience as well but that’s another post. 
• I am married to the best man ever for 8 years now.
• We have 2 cats, Jasmine and Bullseye.
• I am an amateur photographer.
• I love to cook and bake; in fact making a peach pie this weekend. I’ll probably post a picture of it because I like taking pictures of pretty food. J  Assuming of course it comes out picture worthy.  (Haha) If it doesn’t I might anyway could be hilarious!
• I’ve moved around a lot and lived in many different places.
• I don’t like to watch movies that make me cry.
• I love movies and books and want to travel everywhere and see everything.
• I want to work in advertising and PR and have fun doing it. 
• I want to know how jelly on bread is considered a sandwich.
• I want to organize all the disorder and chaos I see into something that makes sense.
• I usually want things my way.  (who doesn’t right?!)

This is could literally go on and on so I’ll stop here for now… and show some pictures of what I am talking about. J 

So I started a blog...

I have had a lot on my mind as of late and thought why not right it all down.  I think some of my thoughts are good ones maybe others will too or maybe I’m just following my Mother’s advice; “If something is bothering you.  Write it down.”

I decided to call it Peachees’ Cobbler for several reasons. But first I should say the spelling of peaches is deliberate. I like fruit; peaches especially.  So when I went to create a character in Everquest (yes I play games more about that later) I couldn’t think of a better name for a dark elf enchanter than Peaches.  I unfortunately had to alter the spelling a bit.  In every game since I have named my characters after fruit and its kinda stuck.  The cobbler part is well who doesn’t like cobbler? Peach Cobbler is of course my favorite and my recipe is super fantastic. If I do say so myself.  J  Anyway, cobbler just seemed appropriate.